


Big God

by HeavyMetalMothman



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Horror, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Mentions of Blood, One Shot, Pregnancy, Trans Male Character, Trans Ryan Bergara, and a little bit of la llorona, influence by japanese yokai folklore, ubume yokai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-13 05:05:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15356892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeavyMetalMothman/pseuds/HeavyMetalMothman
Summary: The time comes for Shane to stop running and reap what he carelessly sewed.





	Big God

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I feel the need to apologize for my fics every time i post them
> 
> So I'm sorry but also I'm not

__Sometimes I think it's gettin' better  
And then it gets much worse  
Is it just part of the process?  
Well, Jesus Christ, it hurts

_ \--- _

It was a quiet, lonely night. Not even the cicadas dared sing in the in residual heat of the southern desert city, it was almost peaceful. 

 

Shane locked his car and turned to enter the apartment complex, only after he heard the reassuring click of the locks falling into place and the single beep from his vehicle. 

 

The heat of the night made his shirt collar stick to his neck, he tugged at the top button until it came loose and he could breathe a little more comfortably. A quick look around and he knew nobody was following him, some of the more passionate fans still tried to keep tabs on him, even after all this time. 

 

Unsolved was gone, ended. And Shane was glad for it, at least that’s what he told himself to feel better. With a proper job at Viacom, he saw no reason to stay at buzzfeed, and quickly removed himself from the public eye and his previous life. 

 

Sometimes he felt like a deserter, as if he was running away from his problems.

 

He made his way up the stairs, pausing to glance at the pool as it glittered under the moon. The yellow light within the artificial body of water illuminated two lovers, spinning around and laughing together. It could have been him, he thought. A moment later and he tore his gaze away and continued up the stairs. 

 

He approached the door to his apartment and sensed something was not quite right. Slightly ajar, light spilled from in between the frame and the door and into the dimly lit hallway. His mind screamed  _ red flag _ at him over and over. With a shaky hand he pushed the door open, mentally preparing to see his apartment completely ransacked. 

 

The short entryway was clean, his living room appeared just the way he’d left it that morning. It was relief but it still didn’t answer the question of why his apartment door was open. A movement in the kitchen caught his eye, and he gripped his keys in his fist, prepared to strike at a moments notice. 

 

“Who’s in here?!” he bellowed out, trying to sound as threatening as possible.

 

“It’s just me, Shane.” 

 

It took him a moment to register the voice, dread and sadness settled into his bones the moment it clicked in place. He took a few steps closer, lowering his fist and making quick strides into the kitchen, anger quickly welling up inside him. 

 

“How the  _ fuck _ did you get in here, how did you even find my apartment, I—” He rounded the corner and felt almost dizzy from what he saw. “ _ Oh my god… _ ”

 

Ryan stood in the kitchen, calm as could be, looking down lovingly at a bundle in his arms. A warm smile sat upon his lips as looked down with deep brown eyes, one of his fingers encased in the gentle grip of a baby’s hand. 

 

It might have been a sweet caricature, where not for the fact that Ryan stood unlawfully in Shane’s apartment, the hem of his white button up soaked in crimson blood, dripping down and staining his light wash jeans. 

 

“Do you want say hello to daddy?” Ryan said to the baby, tapping gently on his nose gently. He didn’t seem to realise he appeared to be badly injured, and he wasn’t startled by Shane’s angry appearance. The baby made a breathy little sigh as it stirred and then relaxed once more in Ryan’s arms. 

 

“We need to get you help Ryan… you-you’re bleeding.” Ryan didn’t answer him, humming to the child in his arms. “And in shock.”

 

“Don’t you want to meet our son?” Ryan asked, looking up at him. The familiar teasing look on his face hit him like a bullet, memories of them together flashed through his mind. 

 

“Our son…”  _ Our son. I left eight months ago. Ryan tried to tell me something, and I didn’t listen. I didn’t even give him a chance.  _ It was possible… but not something he had the capacity to think about. “Ryan, you’re fucking bleeding! I’m calling the cops… I can’t…” 

 

He turned and pulled his phone out, shakily dialing 911.

 

“ _ Agárralo por mi, mi amor. _ ” 

 

“What?” Shane turned around to protest the offhanded ‘my love’ and immediately the child was put into his arms without warning. The baby groaned quietly as Shane tried to accommodate the sudden weight in his arms. It was a newborn, barely a few days old. 

 

“Isn’t he beautiful?” Ryan asked quietly.

 

“He is…” He was entranced, drawn in by the modest innocence of him and for a moment, everything else fell away around him. The child in his arms seemed like the only important thing, a strange sense of protectiveness overtook him. 

 

_ “911, what is your emergency?” _

 

The enchantment broke and Shane remembered where he was.  _ Ryan broke into my apartment, Ryan is bleeding, Ryan seems to be in shock.  _

 

“He looks just like his father.” Ryan looked at him fondly, but tinged with sadness. Shane clutched the baby a little closer, afraid it might slip from his shaking hands. 

 

Shane looked at Ryan for a moment before bringing the phone back to his ear. “I’m reporting a break in, my ex broke into my apartment. He’s in need of medical attention, and possibly psychiatric help.”

 

_ “What is your location?”  _

 

“13801 Paramount Blvd, Paramount, apartment number 216.” Shane watched guardedly as Ryan wandered from the kitchen into the living room, seemingly in a sort of trance. 

 

_ “What is his condition?”  _

 

“He appears to be bleeding from his lower abdomen. He doesn’t seem to be aware of anything going on, he’s not responding to any of my questions.” 

 

_ “Has he tried to hurt you or anyone else?” _

 

“No, he’s just out of it and—” Shane turned to look and Ryan was gone, disappeared from his point of view. “Ryan?” He called out.

 

_ “Can you tell me what’s happening?” _

 

“I-I don’t know, he just walked away.” Shane made his way past the living room, looking down the entryway, then into his room and into the bathroom. “He went somewhere but I don’t think he left the apartment, I was just looking at him and I didn’t hear the door shut. Ryan!” He called again, but still no answer. There wasn’t a sound except for him, the baby in his arms, and the dispatcher on the phone. 

 

_ “Emergency services are on their way. Try to keep calm for me. Do you know where he might have gone?” _

 

“I don’t know where he went…” He looked around his apartment, panic starting to well up inside him. “Ryan! This isn’t a fucking game!” He adjusted the baby in his arms, it felt heavier every second he held it. He went from room to room, checking every corner, every space where Ryan might be hiding, the dispatcher trying to keep him calm through it all.

 

In the living room, a blur of white moved past his peripheral vision, he turned and saw nothing. A short distance behind him, heard Ryan’s soft laugh, captivating and whimsical. He turned around again, and still no Ryan. 

 

“This isn’t funny!” Tears threatened to spring from his eyes, his heart felt like it was going to beat right out his chest. He had to adjust his hold on the baby again, he felt like his arm was being pulled out his socket. “I don’t know where he is… he couldn’t have gone far but I don’t know where he is, and he left me with a baby—”

 

_ “Why did you leave us Shane?” _ Ryan’s wet voice asked shakily over the phone. Another chill ran down Shane’s back, he let out a small sob. He pulled the phone away from his ear, ended the call, and tossed the phone across the kitchen table. 

 

He pulled the child closer to him in both arms, he felt heavy like he was slipping from his grip. The muscles in his arms threatened to give, burning in pain. 

 

“What the hell is going on…” He whispered, tears streaming down his cheeks. “Where did you go?” 

 

Eventually, he just couldn’t hold on any longer. The child fell from his arms, his heart fell with it. A sickening crack followed, along with the sound of rock shards scattering across the wooden floor. 

 

At his feet a small, cracked boulder lay on the floor.

 

There was no child.

 

There was no sign of Ryan.

 

Shane fell to his knees and wailed. 

 

\---

 

A few weeks later, Shane’s corpse washed up on the shores of Santa Monica. An autopsy revealed no struggle, his death was ruled a suicide after his apartment was searched. A note was left on the counter, only reading “I want to be with them” in shaky handwriting.

 

The only other oddities were a large splintered dent in the wooden floor boards, as though someone dropped a heavy object, and Shane’s meticulously but hastily packed apartment.

 

As for who “they” were, the only connection authorities could make was the supposed intruder from Shane’s panicked 911 call, though cut off by heavy interference halfway through, and his ex fiance from eight months before the call, who’d died in childbirth only a few hours prior.

 

No one could make sense of the bizarre, sorrowful case. 

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what my weird fascination with death and sad stories is, I just don't understand it....
> 
> Leave a comment and let me know what you thought.


End file.
